Entitlement VS. Worthiness

Weekly Wisdom #12

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When you receive something you feel entitled to, something expected, that you believe you’ve earned, it’s not worth much. And when you don’t receive it, you’re furious. After all, it’s yours. Already yours. And you didn’t get it.

Worthiness, on the other hand, is an essential part of receiving anything.

When you feel unworthy, any kind response, positive feedback or reward feels like a trick, a scam, the luck of the draw. It’s hardly worth anything, because you decided in advance, before you got the feedback, that you weren’t worthy.

It’s possible to feel worthy without feeling entitled. Humility and worthiness have nothing at all to do with defending our territory. When we feel deserving of something, it’s a statement of self-worth. It’s sort of a self-assessment to determine we’ve actually done enough to be worthy of achieving a certain result.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less. -C. S. Lewis

We don’t have to feel like a fraud to also be gracious, open or humble.

Both entitlement and unworthiness are the work of the resistance. The twin narratives make us bitter, encourage us to be ungenerous, keep us stuck. Divas are divas because they’ve tricked themselves into believing both narratives–that they’re not getting what they’re entitled to, and, perversely, that they’re not worth what they’re getting.

The entitled yet frightened voice says, “What’s the point of contributing if those people aren’t going to appreciate it sufficiently?” And the defensive unworthy voice says, “What’s the point of shipping the work if I don’t think I’m worthy of being paid attention to…”

The bottom line is this – If I feel worthy or deserving of a certain result or outcome of the work I’ve put in, it means that I’ll view the achievement of this result as a reward. I’ll feel good about myself and I’ll be grateful. But, if I have a sense of entitlement to the result of work I may or may not have put it, it’s not going to mean that much to me whether or not it’s achieved.

The universe, it turns out, owes each of us very little indeed. Hard work and the dangerous commitment to doing something that matters doesn’t get us a guaranteed wheelbarrow of prizes… but what it does do is help us understand our worth. That worth, over time, can become an obligation, the chance to do our best work and to contribute to communities we care about.

When the work is worth it, make more of it, because you can, and because you’re generous enough to share it.

“I’m not worthy,” isn’t a useful way to respond to success. And neither is, “that’s it?”

It might be better if we were just a bit better at saying, “thank you.”

5 Ways to Overcome Your Entitlement Thinking

1. Be Worthy – Put the work in and be worthy of achieving your desires.

2. Don’t Delude Your Thinking – It’s okay to feel like you’ve worked hard in achieving your goals and the reward that follows, but be honest with yourself.

3. It’s On You – Remember that you came into this world with nothing and this universe owes you very little.

4. Don’t Be a Victim – Work hard and do what’s necessary to achieve your goals; it feels much better.

5. Be Willing To Grow – If you already feel entitled to the end result, your personal growth will be limited.

THE BOOK OF THE WEEK

Brendon Burchard’s – The Motivation Manifesto

(Click the Image to buy a copy of the Book)

Brendon and I do not know each other personally, but we run in similar circles and have a lot of mutual friends. He is a Multi New York Times Best Selling Author and is one of the most followed people on Facebook with over. 4.2 million “Likes”

I have actually never read one of Brendon’s books, but I am excited to dive into his most recent book this week, The Motivation Manifesto. Enjoy!

Last Weeks Book Summary

Peter Diamandis’ – Abundance

(Click the Image to buy a copy of the Book)

Peter Diamandis is one of the CEOs that I look up to. While Elon Musk may get more publicity, I think that Peter Diamandis is on the same playing field as the famous Space Explorer. It was one of the reasons that I included his book into our Book of the Week.

Not only is he responsible for privatizing personal travel into space, he is also responsible for the creation of several universities, and is now working to create mining initiatives on asteroids. By mining precious metals from asteroids as they fly through our solar system, he could potentially create a Trillion dollar industry and impact our whole global economy.

Peter is a pioneer, plain and simple. He thinking and teachings encourage the reader to think outside of the box, think bigger, bolder and more abundantly. I got a lot out of this book! After reading Abundance, I have finally committed to creating my first 3-Day seminar later this year. This has been an idea that has been dwelling in my mind for the last two years. Actually, I shouldn’t say dwelling… its been festering, agitating, annoying. Abundance opened my eyes to the potential impact and lives that could changed for the better with the format that I am starting to develop. I will be sure to share more in the coming weeks, so be sure you are on the Email list!